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Offering Support through Grief Resources

As I watched Thomas, a grieving widower, walk out the door following his wife Rebecca’s memorial service, I felt a pang of sadness for him. We had spent a considerable amount of time together – in person, over the phone and via email – planning just the right commemoration of Rebecca’s life. It was clear to me that Thomas’ lifelong devotion to Rebecca was deep and genuine. And it was also clear that Thomas would be overwhelmed by sadness and grief in the days ahead.
A week or so after Rebecca’s service, Thomas stopped in with a question. He was busy with all the paperwork and legal matters to attend to and was adjusting to his “new normal”. As we talked, I asked him how things were going. He replied, “I’m doing ok, generally, but the nights are the loneliest.” That was certainly not the first time I’ve heard that response! No matter the scenario, for most grievers, the “busyness” of planning shields them somewhat from the inevitable deep loss and sorrow that will come – in waves, and often at night – after services are complete.
As funeral directors, we believe in the importance of stopping to honor a life well-lived. And we also know the importance of abundant resources once that tribute has taken place. Fortunately, there are many grief resources available today. They range from general education and awareness tools to help understand the phases of grief to more specific programs for children, spouses, those grieving a loss by suicide, and more. Grievers can find one-on-one help through grief counselors who can tailor programs to specific needs or tap into online or in-person support groups.
At Gearty-Delmore, we partner with Circle of Friends, an aftercare outreach program, to stay in touch with the families we have served. Our partners at Circle of Friends reach out at regular intervals, messaging everything from a simple check-in/how are you doing, to offering a variety of resources based on people’s responses to the outreach. The resources they offer change as time passes, with pertinent information also served up as needed or requested. We’ve gotten very positive feedback about Circle of Friends and believe that it is a welcome exchange for families.
You can also find a variety of grief resources in our buildings (just ask our funeral directors), and in the Resources section of our website.
As he headed out of the building, Thomas reached for a local support group brochure from our front desk and my concern for him lifted just a bit. I was sure that a support group would be just the right thing for him on his grief journey – whether that support came during the busy days or helped him make it through the quiet of the lonely nights.











